I'm a hater

I hate alot of things, people, places, ideas, concepts, brands, labels, sports teams, animals, colors, words... well lets just say I harbor a lot of hatred. The following is a list of people that I think the world would be better without.

Old People Driving:
I know that this isn’t exactly an original gripe, but it pisses me off so much that I couldn’t very well leave it out. I seriously think that a requirement for receiving Social Security should be the forfeiture of your driver’s license. ATTENTION OLD PEOPLE: STOP DRIVING. Is it really necessary to come to a complete stop to make a right hand turn grandpa? I realize you are just being careful when you drive 15 miles an hour under the speed limit, but I’m in a hurry, my time is still valuable. Sitting at a light for 15 seconds after it turns green is not the key to eternal youth, so stop doing it. If you are no longer mentally capable of driving, just stop. And while we are on the subject of bad drivers, why on earth does everyone with a handicapped sticker think they own the road? Listen cripple, if your peg leg can’t reach the gas pedal, take a fucking cab.

Nirvana
I honestly don’t understand why Nirvana was ever popular. Every single one of their songs can be summed up in the same ten words; “I’m a depressed loser and its all someone else’s fault”. Seriously, if I wanted to listen to someone bitch and whine at me all day, I’d get married. Blech.

The English:
I hate the English. They’re so damn uppity. Did you know they still call us “colonists”? What kind of BS is that? And where do they get the nerve to let the British pound be worth almost twice the American dollar? If not for us winning WWII they’d be using Deutschmarks (note: by “us winning” I mean “us letting the Russians take millions of casualties and us attacking while the Nazis were busy on the Eastern front, but whatever same difference right?). If I ever have the misfortune of talking politics with an Englishman, I’m gonna ask him why his country is still illegally and immorally entrenched on the soil of the sovereign country of Ireland. Its okay I don’t think they’ll get mad if I just slip that in there between “Why do you idiots call cookies biscuits?” and “doesn’t socialized medicine cover dental work?”

Kathy Griffin:
When I think of Kathy Griffin, the phrase “no talent ass-clown” jumps immediately to mind. Oh! How funny, you have a stand up segment called “Strong Black Woman”! That is HILARIOUS, because you aren’t black at all, are you? I get it, you are making a joke, that's irony, right?! Too bad you are the only one who is laughing. Her show “Life on the D-List” highlights the fact that she is only famous for not being famous. I thought that after years and years of unfunny and ridiculously mediocre appearances on unfunny and ridiculously mediocre television shows (Mad About You and The Drew Carey Show are just two examples of many) that I had finally seen the end of this annoying, humorless, talentless hack. But noooo fucking A & E gives her a show BECAUSE she has no talent and no career to speak of, and now she is all over the place. Seriously, am I the only one who sees something wrong with this shit? This is America, and in America people advance because of their talent, not their lack of it. That makes Kathy Griffin a Communist. Trust me that logic works. DAMN YOU KATHY GRIFFIN, DAMN YOU TO HELL YOU PINKO COMMIE BASTARD!

More Shortly. Grazi